Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize