i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
