True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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