you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
