Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize