Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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