is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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