Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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