Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
