you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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