Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
