Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
