But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
