Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Randomize
