i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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