i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
