when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.