I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.