covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.