everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high