I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
