My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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