I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize