I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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