operation have a gay friend backfired
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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