I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
