I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize