the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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