Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
