He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
