Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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