not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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