Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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