it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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