Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
