I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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