Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She announced her abortion via fbk
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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