i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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