so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This is the high leading the old right now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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