i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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