Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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