I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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