We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
