I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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