We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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