I feel like I'm in dance class right now
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
