I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize