I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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