i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize