is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
