saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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