There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
