i think my mom watched the whole time
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
