Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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