She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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