Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
