woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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