I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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