Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So much rum. So many feels.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
