Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
