O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
